For anyone that has returned to suffer some more at my hands, and assuming that you care, last night was definitely better. Mini-me actually slept through until 7.15am and yet again informed me this morning that I am "the best Daddy in the World except Mummy" which I guess means I am still no. 2 in the pecking order but nonetheless cleverly reinforced my position has her slave. Why am I under the control of a four year old for God's sake?
Whilst going through all the things that happen to me on a daily basis, I realised that the one over-riding emotion that I often suffer with regard to my daughter is guilt. Does anyone else feel that? I feel guilty that I work long hours and do not see enough of her and the time that I do get to spend at home I want to not only see her but also to fit in a game of golf or go to the gym. The former of course takes up a huge amount of time and so can result in a whole day away at the weekend whilst the latter is just about OK. That said I think Cameron is sick of me wandering around in my tight gym t-shirt (designed for maximum muscle exposure) and demanding that she feels my muscles and comments on how much they've grown. That's another story I guess.
But seriously, am I alone in my guilt trip? How long will it go on? 18 yrs, 25 yrs, until my deathbed (sorry I'm popping my clogs as I didn't see you enough today/yesterday)? The other matter is of course how nice my wife is about my golf habit. If only she was nastier then at least I would feel like I was winning something rather than choosing to leave my family at home on one of the two days in seven that I get with them.
I'd be really interested to know how other fathers deal with this. Maybe you don't and I'm alone with my conscience. One thing I have started to try and do is to get up with my daughter (subject to the 6.30am rule - see previous post) and read to her or watch one of her favorite films with her but then I suffer from further guilt around "over-exposure" to the TV.
Then again maybe I just worry too much about everything.
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1 comment:
Good blog. Very funny. I justify my golf habit by telling myself it is good for my mental health and that me being in good mental health is good for the whole family.
I tell myself because if I told my wife she would hit me. With my driver.
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