Whooohoo, my daughter actually chose me to do something for her over my wife today! What a great feeling.
I usually feel like a complete waste of space, unable to perform the most basic of tasks like tieing shoe laces. But this weekend I was invited in to the inner sanctum that is my favoured ones bedroom and asked to move a box of dollies in to the bathroom where apparently a full blown school was in operation. Not only that, I performed the task so well that I was asked back to move a second box - what greater validation could there be for my box-moving prowess...
Today, mini me even declared for all to hear that "I want Daddy to hold my hand when I am on the scooter". Now we're talking. This task is usually the sole domain of my beloved wife who takes on the mantel of a waterski boat and pulls mini me in to town on a regular basis with me ambling along in the background. NOT TODAY!!!
I was like a SunSeeker I was so graceful, towing my daughter in my wake. Nothing could stop me, not even an attempt by my wife to reassert her position as "Head Tower" half way through the walk. I saw off her weak attempt with ease, confident in my new found position of "Cool Daddy".
And what drove this whole thing I hear you ask? Well like all Dad's I've been struggling to get "quality time" with the family and so this weekend, I made a real effort to be the one that was on hand to help the daughter or give her a bath or whatever it took. The payback was almost instantaneous and extremely gratifying.
I now have to ensure that I maintain my position which is pretty bloody difficult from behind a desk with my fingers stuck to a laptop - but I'm damn well going to try!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
On no, she's actually growing up
Sometimes you just wonder where the time goes. I've just had an extremely adult conversation with my daughter on the phone and it makes me feel sad that my little girl is growing up so quickly and that I see more of my laptop than I do of her.
Is this really how it's meant to be?
Is this really how it's meant to be?
Monday, September 29, 2008
For goodness sake Daddy...
So this is acually very scary. My daughter has clearly been studying the best way to handle me by secretly watching my wife and the result is that I appear to have inherited a mini-version of the "trouble and strife".
Only last week, the mini one rolled her eyes at me and in an exasperated tone said "Come on Daddy" referring to something I was supposed to have done - in usual man fashion I had nodded but not computed and the task remained incomplete. I have also noticed the mini one glancing at the older one (notice my avoidance of the word "bigger") prior to reacting to anything I've just said. For example, if I attempt to offer advice to said child, she quickly glances at Mummy to see if the advice is acceptable and then either:
a) reacts in a positive way if Mummy's face looks happy or
b) starts crying and walks out the room if Mummy looks like she wants to throttle Daddy for interfering with the upbringing of our joint off-spring.
As the years pass I can see a situation where they both shout at me for not putting away my washing or wander around after me telling me to clear up after myself and that they are not slaves. Come to think of it, I better go home or they'll both be cross with me for staying too long at work...
Only last week, the mini one rolled her eyes at me and in an exasperated tone said "Come on Daddy" referring to something I was supposed to have done - in usual man fashion I had nodded but not computed and the task remained incomplete. I have also noticed the mini one glancing at the older one (notice my avoidance of the word "bigger") prior to reacting to anything I've just said. For example, if I attempt to offer advice to said child, she quickly glances at Mummy to see if the advice is acceptable and then either:
a) reacts in a positive way if Mummy's face looks happy or
b) starts crying and walks out the room if Mummy looks like she wants to throttle Daddy for interfering with the upbringing of our joint off-spring.
As the years pass I can see a situation where they both shout at me for not putting away my washing or wander around after me telling me to clear up after myself and that they are not slaves. Come to think of it, I better go home or they'll both be cross with me for staying too long at work...
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Shamed in to blogging
Right, my wife has shamed me in to blogging again but in the same breath told me not to blog unless it comes naturally. This means I'm going to post a blog and then come back and carry on writing about fatherhood tomorrow when "it comes naturally". Good night.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
I'm fed up with politicians
Whilst I'm on a roll, I'd like to say how fed up I am of politicians and politics as a whole. Whatever happened to being voted in to do the best for the country. Now you might not like him, but I admire Ken Livingstone - why I hear you say? The man has balls. I may not agree with everything he believes in but he does an excellent job of being unfettered by political norms.
He personally believed in a congestion charge and everyone else was up in arms. He went ahead because he had a view that it would be better for London, even though the majority was against it. The result has been a reduction in traffic levels and an increase in revenue. There are more busses, more cycle lanes, and generally public transport is getting better in London. According to the Independent,
"At the end of the last decade, London suffered some of the worst congestion levels in Europe. The introduction of the congestion charge had an immediate impact, reducing the amount of traffic in the heart of the capital by about 15 per cent.
About half the drivers who left their cars at home took public transport instead, with the rest getting a lift, using motorbikes or cycles to get to work or avoiding the area altogether. Transport for London (TfL), which administers the scheme, said the overall amount of traffic fell by 21 per cent between 2002 and 2006. The result is that 70,000 fewer vehicles are on the streets every day than before the charge began.
Meanwhile, the number of taxis has risen by 13 per cent, bus and coaches by 25 per cent and bicycles by 49 per cent, confirming significant changes to London's transport patterns over the past five years. TfL says the extension of the charging zone to the West has produced a fall in traffic in the area of between ten and 15 per cent."
My point here is that the man has conviction. He believes in an idea, whether you think it is good or not, and is prepared to run with it and be judged on the outcome.
I wish our country was run like this. There are definitely issues with immigration and violent crime. What does the Goverment do - they launch another initiative targeting the outcome, not the root cause; they tinker with existing policy.
Take teenage crime. The answer is not to bring in tagging or to launch education programmes about the danger of knives and guns. The reason that there are so many problems with unruly teenagers is that they are bored. Plain and simple.
Why are they bored? I believe that a return to the concept of centrally funded youth clubs, a greater emphasis on extra curricular activity, a focus on developing teenage mentors - all of these things would help bring down crime. I witnessed first hand last week five kids in our local branch of Curries. It shuts at 8pm and I was in their looking for a TV. It was almost closing time and they were hanging around looking at DVD's and generally loafing. Every CCTV camera was trained on them and all staff were primed for action. One of them said to the others "I'm bored, let's go hang-out at Tesco."
And therein lies the problem. Whilst we keeping staring at the manifestation of the problem, we miss the problem itself. I'm in sales and I train my team to find the problem. If someone says to me I need X then I want to understand why they need X. They think that the fact they don't have X is the problem. WRONG. X is the solution to a problem they have.
In the same way, the solution to this problem is not to confront the outcome, but to stop it happening in the first place.
Imagine this if you can. You are 15 years old and one of your mates texts you to ask to meet up. They want to hang around outside some late night shop and get some booze. If that is the only alternative to sitting at home watching TV with your parents then you might be interested.
Now imagine if they had a choice. Getting pissed or going indoor climbing, learning to use a recording studio, making a film, hanging out with friends in a sociable and safe atmosphere. When I talk about a youth club above, I don't mean an uncool place where you wouldn'tbe seen dead. I mean a place that offers a better, more fun experience than a bench at Tesco. After all, don't forget that these are kids and underneath the bravado, they all still enjoy a good adventure and doing interesting things with people they like.
How to fund it? Use the National Lottery. Create a national programme designed to put a centre in every major town and large village. The cost will be big no doubt, but what is the cost of youth crime in this country and what price do we put on the life of another teenager.
He personally believed in a congestion charge and everyone else was up in arms. He went ahead because he had a view that it would be better for London, even though the majority was against it. The result has been a reduction in traffic levels and an increase in revenue. There are more busses, more cycle lanes, and generally public transport is getting better in London. According to the Independent,
"At the end of the last decade, London suffered some of the worst congestion levels in Europe. The introduction of the congestion charge had an immediate impact, reducing the amount of traffic in the heart of the capital by about 15 per cent.
About half the drivers who left their cars at home took public transport instead, with the rest getting a lift, using motorbikes or cycles to get to work or avoiding the area altogether. Transport for London (TfL), which administers the scheme, said the overall amount of traffic fell by 21 per cent between 2002 and 2006. The result is that 70,000 fewer vehicles are on the streets every day than before the charge began.
Meanwhile, the number of taxis has risen by 13 per cent, bus and coaches by 25 per cent and bicycles by 49 per cent, confirming significant changes to London's transport patterns over the past five years. TfL says the extension of the charging zone to the West has produced a fall in traffic in the area of between ten and 15 per cent."
My point here is that the man has conviction. He believes in an idea, whether you think it is good or not, and is prepared to run with it and be judged on the outcome.
I wish our country was run like this. There are definitely issues with immigration and violent crime. What does the Goverment do - they launch another initiative targeting the outcome, not the root cause; they tinker with existing policy.
Take teenage crime. The answer is not to bring in tagging or to launch education programmes about the danger of knives and guns. The reason that there are so many problems with unruly teenagers is that they are bored. Plain and simple.
Why are they bored? I believe that a return to the concept of centrally funded youth clubs, a greater emphasis on extra curricular activity, a focus on developing teenage mentors - all of these things would help bring down crime. I witnessed first hand last week five kids in our local branch of Curries. It shuts at 8pm and I was in their looking for a TV. It was almost closing time and they were hanging around looking at DVD's and generally loafing. Every CCTV camera was trained on them and all staff were primed for action. One of them said to the others "I'm bored, let's go hang-out at Tesco."
And therein lies the problem. Whilst we keeping staring at the manifestation of the problem, we miss the problem itself. I'm in sales and I train my team to find the problem. If someone says to me I need X then I want to understand why they need X. They think that the fact they don't have X is the problem. WRONG. X is the solution to a problem they have.
In the same way, the solution to this problem is not to confront the outcome, but to stop it happening in the first place.
Imagine this if you can. You are 15 years old and one of your mates texts you to ask to meet up. They want to hang around outside some late night shop and get some booze. If that is the only alternative to sitting at home watching TV with your parents then you might be interested.
Now imagine if they had a choice. Getting pissed or going indoor climbing, learning to use a recording studio, making a film, hanging out with friends in a sociable and safe atmosphere. When I talk about a youth club above, I don't mean an uncool place where you wouldn'tbe seen dead. I mean a place that offers a better, more fun experience than a bench at Tesco. After all, don't forget that these are kids and underneath the bravado, they all still enjoy a good adventure and doing interesting things with people they like.
How to fund it? Use the National Lottery. Create a national programme designed to put a centre in every major town and large village. The cost will be big no doubt, but what is the cost of youth crime in this country and what price do we put on the life of another teenager.
Back from the Dead
Is anyone there - I doubt it. I'd started to build up a little following of readers on my "Dad Blog" but having not written it for probably over a year, I can't blame them for deserting.
Anyway, I'm now busily engaged with trying to balance my new job at a very cool company called Huddle and being a dad. Huddle is currently winning the battle as I'm seeing the daughter for about 10 mins a day which is not ideal!
Loads has happened since I first started this blog but the main thing is I am now officially a pushy dad (when I have time) and my daughter has a part in a TV show. In a few weeks she is meeting Gordon Brown and David Cameron.....as you do. I'm busy priming her to give Gordon a hard time about the issues with Britain as a whole. Lots of my friends are ringing me up with questions I should get her to ask.
I'm also due to be a best man in a couple of weeks and am sitting looking at the worlds funniest speech ever - I promise it is. Andy at work took the piss out of me today so I am now using Twitter but can't imagine that anyone will ever follow me and my wife turns 30 this weekend - all in all a crazy time as you can see.
Anyway my current woe is that everytime I say something wrong to my daughter she starts crying and runs to Mummy. This usually envolves me being shouted out by both even though my intentions were entirely good. It also usually happens when I feel like I'm actually being a good dad. Only last weekend I was playing in a tent in the house and we were laughing and joking when suddenly I held her foot in the wrong way and it all ended in tears. What can I do?
That's generally the problem. The issue is that I have done something extremely minor in the wrong way - the result is a deluge and storm of tears, wildly disproportionate to the actual thing that caused them. But then I guess little girls can copy their mothers once in a while.
Anyway, I'm now busily engaged with trying to balance my new job at a very cool company called Huddle and being a dad. Huddle is currently winning the battle as I'm seeing the daughter for about 10 mins a day which is not ideal!
Loads has happened since I first started this blog but the main thing is I am now officially a pushy dad (when I have time) and my daughter has a part in a TV show. In a few weeks she is meeting Gordon Brown and David Cameron.....as you do. I'm busy priming her to give Gordon a hard time about the issues with Britain as a whole. Lots of my friends are ringing me up with questions I should get her to ask.
I'm also due to be a best man in a couple of weeks and am sitting looking at the worlds funniest speech ever - I promise it is. Andy at work took the piss out of me today so I am now using Twitter but can't imagine that anyone will ever follow me and my wife turns 30 this weekend - all in all a crazy time as you can see.
Anyway my current woe is that everytime I say something wrong to my daughter she starts crying and runs to Mummy. This usually envolves me being shouted out by both even though my intentions were entirely good. It also usually happens when I feel like I'm actually being a good dad. Only last weekend I was playing in a tent in the house and we were laughing and joking when suddenly I held her foot in the wrong way and it all ended in tears. What can I do?
That's generally the problem. The issue is that I have done something extremely minor in the wrong way - the result is a deluge and storm of tears, wildly disproportionate to the actual thing that caused them. But then I guess little girls can copy their mothers once in a while.
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